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I am a big fan of British crime shows and will watch just about anything produced by the BBC. The mayhem I get to see allows me to exercise the darker side of my nature so I don’t actually have to go out and commit a homicide. I admit, though, that I have given it thought.

After watching all eight episodes of the British crime series Marcella, which just came out on Netflix, I am persuaded that I need to be more selective about my viewing choices.

Throughout, I kept wondering what an innocent who accidentally landed on this planet would think about the human race if this show were its only exposure to people on Earth. Perhaps it would think that

    1. Nowhere is one human safe from the inevitable treachery and betrayal of every other human.
    2. Most humans want to kill or maim other humans.
    3. Humans, especially men, prefer to harm others with knives and guns, but glass shards will suffice when these are not available.
    4. Most men are sadistic, and violence is as natural to them as breathing.
    5. Immigrant men are especially brutal and remorseless, particularly if they are from Eastern Europe.
    6. Among humans, there is one asexual, shy man who is made the butt of every joke.
    7. Most men are murderers, but a scattering also are adulterers.
    8. Most women and gay men are mentally ill, some extremely and violently so.
    9. Women who are not mentally ill are cold, cruel, and aloof.
    10. Humans appear to die prematurely and preternaturally.
    11. A human has psychic powers (or access to CCTV footage) and knows exactly where all other humans have been or are going to be at each moment.
    12. A man who marries an older woman would actually rather have sex with her beautiful daughter’s dresses.
    13. One must steer clear of the thin human wearing a hoodie.
    14. Every human being is inextricably connected to every other human being.

On this last point I would have to agree.


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