Turning Five

Number Five Print 5 x 7 Inches by keesandme on Etsy, $10.00:

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Each year since I started Ruminationville, I have made an inner commitment to reflect on the 12 months leading up to its birthday on January 14, when this year on that day the earth will have completed 5 or so orbits around the sun.

At times, especially over the past few weeks, I have found myself wondering what would happen if the site simply disappeared, signed off, said sayonara. Maybe fewer than a handful of you would miss my blog for a very little while, but before long it would be as though it, and I, never existed. This is not an unbearable thought, though, since, try as most of us might to deny how little we matter in the scheme of things, the naked truth is that we matter little in the scheme of things.

Yet I deeply believe there is a purpose to every life on this fragile planet — both on an individual and at a collective level — and I somehow feel that, were I to go dark, I would not have finished fulfilling a piece of my part. Still, I find myself becoming restless here and wanting to try something new, learn something new, be someone new.

On this last point, I do not mean to suggest that I would wish to suddenly wake up a blue-eyed, blonde-haired 20-year-old with white, straight teeth. I mean that I wish for continued spiritual growth — evolution, if you will — and out of that maturing a change that, through me, shines itself brightly in this darkening world.

This year, I find myself wanting to light the menorah of my ancestors — my parents, my grandparents, my great-grandparents, and all those who came before them. Always I have felt compelled to participate in Christmas festivities because not doing so meant feeling even more of an outsider in a world that, by and large, does not welcome its Jews into the fold. Tonight, as I light the first candle of Chanukah, I will think of my forebears with reverence. And I will honor, too, the sacred Christ that resides within me, within us all.

10 comments

  1. And Merry Chanukah to you! You know you speak for us all in this strange digital world of ours. I was thinking along the same lines as yourself. If I never posted again, threw the computer in the river, lived in a hut…who would miss my posts? Well, a few here and there would–maybe–wonder what ever happened to what’s-his-name?

    But, as you say, and I agree, there is so much to learn, so many books to read, so many words to write, and perhaps that is the point for folks such as ourselves–to be driven by a desire to experience our lives as a purpose-driven journey towards some rational destination.

    Thank you for being such a good blogging friend.

    1. Dear Paul, I can always count on you to send along just the right words I need to hear. I thank you for being such a good blogging friend, too, and I wish you a journey-ful 2017 — in whatever direction it may lead. Leslie

  2. I think most of us are in a similar place, although that may be presumptuous of me to say, as this blogging world is a relatively narrow space. But… forgotten after signing off – probably not, as the digital world has a characteristic never seen before – somewhere, in servers, phones, home computers, like mine, the words and images of so many reside almost indefinitely. And in the minds of us who have had the privilege to peruse this phenomena, some remnants likely will be in our memory somewhere, only to fade away slowly as we indeed all eventually do.
    Hoping you have a good holiday season, and I’m looking forward to your footprints in the cloud in 2017. M 🙂

    1. Thanks for such a thoughtful response to my post, M. I always appreciate and value comments you leave. May 2017 bring all that you wish for and all that you need. I, too, will look forward to your “footprints” in the coming year. Leslie

  3. 5 years old is an important pre-school age for a child… so probably also for a blog 🙂 Stay restless and keep on the path of spiritual growth and next year will be a good one despite the darkening times. I know what you mean about feeling an outsider: I’ve continued to participate in Xmas celebrations with my own mix of Buddhist incense, prayers for my ancestors plus Christmas tree decorations and candles …

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely reply to my post and for following my blog. I hadn’t thought about it being in the toddling stage, but I believe you might be on to something! I have visited (and am now following) your site. What a fascinating person you are! Happy 2017. Leslie

  4. Lovely. Your humility and awareness is a pure light, that which is required to negotiate our current minefield this year. Gratitude has been and continues to be my watchword.

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