Month: September 2019

Today I Saw Leslie

pink ornamental grass grasses hair 1 gallon flamingo tall pampas

Throughout my life I have looked to other people for knowledge about who I am—but only of the coarser kind, such as a beloved to have said, “I am sorry I hurt you” so before I could begin to know I truly had been hurt or such as a brother to have said, “I am sorry I hardly think of you” at all before I could begin to know I was worthy of living in another’s thoughts or such as a mother to have said, “I am sorry I never loved you” enough before I could begin to know I had not been much loved or such as a father to have said, “I am sorry I left you again” and again before I could begin to know I had been cast off. Then today, while in my car and stopped at a red light, I saw close by a wild patch of feather grass shielding a lone starling in search of a bug and, almost without thinking, thought, “I am that.”

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